Been a few days since i've last write up any entries here. Quite a turmoil in my life lately...mostly depressing... :(
1stly, my application for sponsorship to Monash Uni was turned down. I was told that it was a basic nursing degree & they wanted me to do a degree specialising in paeds...& the only place that offers such degrees is the Uks. But i'm just wondering why i have to do so...the course that i took in Spore is a specialised one & its the same modules that the unis in Uks are offering. Why waste my time doing things that i have done & in fact its just gonna waste govt's money. Though in Uk, i would be offered a full time course for 2 yrs & in Monash i was offered a 3 yrs course, i would prefer going to Monash. Monash have allowed me to be exempted from most of the paeds modules that they offer & i was given the choice to take up other specialised modules like neonatal to fill up the 3 yrs course. That would be better & it wont be a waste. Just imagine!! i go to uk..get exempted in most of the paeds modules there..lots of free time...im just gonna be there for the sake of being there but not fulfilling what i wanted to do. If i'm sent to Monash, though i'll be doing basic nursing degree, it would be very beneficial for me. Its been almost 9 yrs that i've not done adult nursing and other nursing specialities. If i finished my studies & if im up for promotion, i would be knowledgable in handling cases other than my own field of speciality. How do you feel if you are the nursing officer on call & running the management of the nursing aspects of the hospital but you dont have a distinct idea of how to manage cases which are not from your field? Dont you think that you would look stupid as a senior but not knowing how to do so? i would!!
Anyway..if thats what they want me to do..i guess i just have to do so...i still wanna further my studies abroad...in order for me to do so...just follow la apa yg drg mau..nda di ikut then i wont get my chances to do so...payah nyamu...i do understand that we dont usually get what we want.
Was at the beach a few days ago....lapas lepak with my frens at LRC coz durang involve in the exhibition thingy di sana. After mendangani durang skajap & memanyap those displayed items, i sat at the beach...thinking abt my life...my career & everything that was encircling my life masa ani...since i had my camera with me so i just took snaps here & there but this picture of the beach just caught my attention. So calm...so peaceful...so smoothing to my eyes...How i wish my life is as calm & peaceful as the picture...but whats life without its ups & downs...bukan kehidupan namanya tu..nda ja?!! Hehe...Ntah ah sometimes i just feel that my life is just being quite unlucky but bila di pikirkan, there are quite a number of the 'ups' moments...those moments slalunya buat me appreciate me being myself...& most of the 'down's events have made me who i am..stronger but yet not strong enough..thats how i feel la abt myself.... Honestly there are times that i regretted living but i tried my best not to think abt that so much...krg gila ku..hehe..but andang jua udah aku ani gila...thats what most of my frens tell me..coz durang slalu liat me as the jovial person..aka happy-go-lucky lad...but whats inside of me..no one knows how i truly feel...the feeling of being unwanted, love deprived, useless and ada jua masanya unworthy of having happiness in this world. Lului plg rasanya kalau me pikirkan abt those stuff but thats just me. But 1 thing for sure..i dont mix my inner feelings with work...at work..im that so called cheerful, fun & at times sarcastic person...haha...laser bah mulut ani...but laser pun..baik kali ah...Baik kah?!! kwang3x!!!
Going on nite shift later...krg lagi menyambung my entry...kalau nda bz la d wad atu...children's ward..very un predictable..krg tah ku tangas pintu emergency d bawah atu..supaya nada kanak2 sakit datang...mcm banar bah me atu..hehe..anyway later peeps!!
